It would be easy to say my Journey began in January of 2010 when I received a birthday gift, a book, from a friend. But when trying to think about how this all came about I believe it goes much further back. Not to my birth as a human but to my rebirth as a believer. I wish I could say with certainty “this is the moment God replaced my heart of stone with flesh” but I can’t. There are some who may have that knowledge and although I think it would be nice, I am not one of them, but thankfully I do love God and Jesus so I know I have a new heart.
I have struggled with the word of God for most of my life, that may not be a word you like to hear a believer say, but it is a word I fear no longer. The definition I will use for “struggling” would be “a person trying to do something correctly and time after time coming just short of what they thought they could do or should do”. When I studied the Bible when I was younger it frequently took on almost an academic quality, approaching it similarly to History or Science.
The Bible was the inspired word of God, but for me I needed to know things simply to support those ideas and tenets I had been taught when I was growing up. Later in life my studies of the Bible became something else, I pursued the word with intellectual interest, but praise God it became his word, more than just recognizing it as inspired, it was inspiring. I now see Bible study as an appetite, one I was most likely by appearance fasting for many years. Although now praise God I do want to study his word, I pray God blesses me with an ever increasing desire for his word.
When you look at what my beliefs are today there are a large number of positions I would say are the same as when I was younger. Other things have taken on a deeper meaning and I can only ascribe that to God’s blessings, his challenges and my age. God was always the maker and creator of the universe, Him and that fact are just a little bigger deal to me now. When I say he is my God, I mean I want to do whatever I can to glorify him in my thoughts and actions. Many of the folks I have spoken to say, “Duh, he is God, how did you not always know and want to do that”, honestly I can’t see why I didn’t. But, part of what I hope writing this down may help me do is articulate what I now see differently and perhaps you will say, “praise God, that’s how I have always seen it”. Or maybe like me, you will say that, but upon thinking about it you may see you were an idolater like me.
I was my biggest fan, I loved me some me, I wanted all the perks of being a follower of God, but when it came time to put away my wants and seek God’s I often failed to step up to the challenge. Praise God he is merciful, he has selected me and my following him as a believer glorifies him and I will be eternally thankful for that.
I hope to share my journey from what many would call an “Armenian position” to what others would call a “Calvinistic position”. If those names bug you, then for now just ignore those references and check out the viewpoints presented. You will most likely agree with one or the other, I will try and explain the thought process and references I went through allowing you to see if they make sense to you as well.
I don’t pretend to be a theologian, I confess to being just a normal person, I did try and prayerfully and diligently pursuit knowledge of God’s word and I believe he rewards that. I will try and give you the two references I looked to for guidance as well as the information from the tools available to most of us for a reasonable cost. In a lot of cases there was really a third viewpoint, my own from my understanding of what had been taught to me earlier in life, when that differs from the other two I will include it to allow you to compare it as well with your own.
The most important thing I can ask, is never take any one persons word for something, please check mine and everyone else’s statements against the authority of the Holy scripture. Be very careful to insure the source you are reading is careful not to take what they are quoting out of context, or assume that just because you may find it easy to agree with them due to their style of writing that you really contemplate and struggle with the passage your dealing with. In my opinion it is rash to assume that everyone before “Mr. X” got it wrong, we were all duped, toss out everyone else’s work except “Mr. X” and trust him. No, I am not saying just because the writing of someone are older they are more correct, I am just saying see who else shares that view, if they are in trustworthy company as well you are probably OK, if they were known for changing their position or even denying the idea they put forth be wary of them.
A last confession tonight, I have altered my position on several things I thought I understood from earlier in my life. It did not occur overnight and I was not studying with another group that was trying to change my mind on anything. My journey began with what I now see was not the best of ideas, I accepted a book thinking I would read it and seek to disprove it in order to help a friend see his errant ways. God had other ideas, the things I thought Calvinist stood for were pretty errant, in fact previously I was really wrong about that. Often times the ideas I found myself trying to dispute were the same as my own, although frequently from a slightly different viewpoint. More on that later. The journey is an important one for all of us to take, we need to question what do I believe and why, and does it center on God or me. Because there are tons of viewpoints out there that will cater to a mans idolatrous desires if you aren’t careful whom you’re following. So I will try and make a mid week post about the books I read and used along the way with another post next weekend about the opening salvo that breached the walls eventually.
May everything I do praise and glorify the Father in heaven, as I firmly believe this is the purpose for every one of us. Please take anything I say in the way I pray I will intend it, to draw attention to the word of God, our understanding of his will for us, and an encouragement to fulfill Pauls pray for the Colossians.
“And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” Colossians 1:9-10 ESV
May everything we do pursue this goal, I intend no malice, nor desire to cause anyone to doubt their beliefs, but I pray any reader will consider further study as I know we are all enriched by immersing ourselves in prayer, the pursuit of glorifying the Father with our actions, and increasing our knowledge of the word of God.
